


Recidivism

by be_themoon



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-16
Updated: 2011-03-16
Packaged: 2017-10-17 01:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/be_themoon/pseuds/be_themoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Recidivism: A tendency to lapse into a previous pattern of behavior, especially a pattern of criminal habits. Edmund and Jadis throughout the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recidivism

The first thing he thinks when they look out at the beach is it isn't winter.

The relief that follows isn't completely unexpected.

+

He still dreams about her sometimes, all ice and snow. He carries her touch within him always, and here in Narnia it is harder to shake off, to remember for the second time she does not hold me.

This is the familiar pattern, the blame he held within for so long, the way only Peter and Lucy can burn it away from him, the way when Susan looks at him she can do nothing because they both know she would have done the same.

But Peter isn't burning bright enough to make the shadows go away anymore, and Edmund isn't sure even now he wants him to.

+

This is Narnia. The endless circles, the way everything turns into itself, the taste of sunshine in your mouth not enough to dispel the touch of ice that burns your body, the way math doesn't add up because 11 + 15 should not equal 11 again.

How he can remember the taste of Turkish Delight even now, and the way her furs were never really warm.

Narnia is reaching back and never really knowing what you're going to find, and looking forward and knowing that it is just the same.

Narnia, despite it's cruel circles, is home.

He expected this, he realizes as he sees Peter staring at her. He expected her to try at least once more for them, because she is bound to Narnia's circles too.

He stabs and drives the blade home, but he knows Narnia.

This circle will come around again, he thinks, and he doesn't feel disappointed, only ready.


End file.
